Day 183: July 2, 2017

Sunday.

Fireworks by the Bay tonight. Grilling. My youngest daughter blew a raspberry right in my face. Summer.

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Day 182: June 30, 2017

No writing today. I’m thinking of pulling all of my Kindle published manuscripts offline and revising them, particularly the first one, CUSP. It was poorly written and hastily thrown online (apologies for the four of you who bought it). I really think I can improve it now. I have new projects I’d like to work on too, but that story has great potential with better writing.

I’d like to give it a try anyway. Pondering it anyway.

Day 180: June 28, 2017

So, I’ve been in this Twitter chat group with a Pitch Wars mentor. We’ve been talking about the business side of writing. Lo and behold, most debut writers, and even writers who’ve become established, don’t make much money. I kind of knew this, but not to the extent I found out during this chat.

Kameron Hurley, a science fiction writer of several series and a Hugo award winner, blogs often about her earnings. That it is not impressive is an understatement.

So, I’ve been reassessing how I approach writing and this current manuscript. I think I’m going to set it aside and wait for Pitch Wars. There are some viability issues with this manuscript I’m going to vet during Pitch Wars. If it doesn’t get in, I’ll query it, see how it does, and if there is not traction, likely trunk it. I can move on to the next project without much mental anguish. I want to work on a project that has better chances for agent/publisher viability if this one proves to be a dead end.

I need to start approaching this all with a different mindset. Each of my novels so far have been dark, with transgressive MCs, and with plots that I usually insist on making as twisted as I can. I have my reasons for this, or at least I have my suspicions of why I do this. But, I also understand that I need to temper all of this with a bit of consideration for the audience.

There is an audience out there for horror, dark stories, and psychological torment in their fiction. I’m just not sure I’m writing it the best way, or that the stories I’m delivering are capturing the right zeitgeist of the times. For example, my current story has MCs that are twins and lovers. To me, I have my thematic reasons for choosing this. By the end of the book, I make a damn good case for it. But making that case in a query letter and the first 50 pages will happen likely never.

I need to write my debut novel with all of this mind. We all know that old Cheers theme song: “Where everybody knows your na-ame.” Well, as a debut author it’s the antithesis of that. I need something a little more welcoming, or something so knock-your-socks-off groundbreaking I can go that route.

It’s going to have to be the former.

Day 179: June 27, 2017

I feel no better today. Well, the writing went more smoothly, but how I feel about writing and about the book is as depressing as it was yesterday. Sigh. Roll on and on and on. I jumped and fixed a bunch of question grammar in dialogue spots. Yay that.

Today’s chapter brought to you by a lifetime of grammar mistakes:

  • Levitte and Blue Time

More word shrinkage as well. In fact sort of massive today, though somewhat because I got sidetracked and dumped a frivolous scene from Chapter Two. (Because that’s what happens when I feel shitty about things.)

Word count yesterday: 124,044
Word count today: 123,419

Day 178: June 26, 2017

Yikes! Writing is not like riding a bike. Getting back on again is hard. My mind feels sloshy. I got some beta reader comments back on a few chapters and–shock–I couldn’t process the criticism. Combine that with having to do this revision work, and it’s like I’ve never written anything before.

I hate writing. This whole book sucks. It turns out I’ve been punctuating questions in dialogue wrong my whole life. At what point did I learn that wrong? And how did I learn that wrong? It’s amazing I’m good at anything.

Fine, whatever. I “revised”, if I can continue to use that word, considering how likely shitty this is all turning out.

  • Daron Chased and Sage’s Daughter.

I get the feeling the word count is going to drop dramatically because when I get pissy about writing I purge.

Word count yesterday: 124,044
Word count today: 123,846