Doubt. It kills momentum. Not only that, but if you’ve been working many months on a manuscript, it tempts killing the whole story. “This is stupid,” doubt screams in your head. “You think you can write?”
I had a bad episode of this the last two days. It coincided with my general mood and self-esteem attacks I put myself through. It’s not about whether the story is good or if I’ll ever be a great writer. All of us who write know this. It’s only the simple matter of whether we will exert the energy to put words to paper. We cannot let anything impede that.
Today I ended up watching a few episodes of the new show The OA on Netflix. I don’t want to delve deeply into that story, but only want to say that it is a story about telling stories. For me, on this day, it helped me tremendously. It birthed a tangential aspect of my story that sparked new writing. Slowly, all the self criticism faded. I was left with both new ideas and that fierce drive to write.
Always look for inspiration. Writing is a tough gig, especially when there’s no sure expectation of pay or reward at the end.
I wrote about 500 words today. Tomorrow, January 20, Trump is inaugurated. I won’t write a post or update. Nothing can lift my spirits to battle through that.